Spike Your Wine - Wine Daze Blog

Sharon's Psychedelic Wine Spike

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 06:55:41 -0800

Note from Dillon: Karen and I are beginning a new phase of our blog. We have both had individual daze of wine drinking other than with each other. Now granted the few we have had are freaking unbelievably funny, we still have more wine stories to talk about. Ok, Karen more than me and she is a much better story teller than I am.

Karen and I can be chatting on the phone after not speaking for several months (it seems) and she could be telling me just this innocent episode in her life but to me it’s fantastic and blog worthy, all of hers are. To her it’s every day life; to me they range from hysterically funny to heart moving tear jerkers.

She told me this story over the phone in generalized conversation as catching up a long lost friend and it was so moving for me I asked her to share it with everyone, read on. I posted my comments in italic.

Hey everyone, 'tis Karen, just lil old moi and my two dogs on a Sunday afternoon in the Deep South taking a moment to update the Wine Daze Blog. Hope everyone is doin' well. I was thinking recently about my friend Sharon that is now resting peacefully in Heaven and thought I'd tell you a story about her. First of all I was raised in a time that if someone gave you a gift you didn't give it away, but sometimes I think 'tis okay to do so.

About a yearish or so ago Dawn and Dillon sent me two Wine Spikes; one purple and one psychedelic. I loved them both, but I really liked the psychedelic one more. Dillon was adamant about me having two in case I had company. Of course I knew he was crazy; me having company? What's that? Really, I’m serious.

Just so happens I did end up having company late last summer; my friend Sharon and her boyfriend Bobby. Sharon was drinking wine and Bobby and I were drinking beer. But it really didn't matter what we were drinking. What mattered was that they came to see me; two old friends of mine. WOW!!!!!! (It doesn’t matter what they were drinking because whatever Karen is drinking she is drinking it out of a stemmed glass using her Wine Spike, which is why she needed two. She would gladly give hers up for someone else to use if she only had one.)

Sharon had been in really bad health for some years so to have the pleasure of her company was fantastic. For her to feel well enough to come was great in itself. Actually that was a gift to visit with two old friends of mine.

On with the day.... I whipped out my Wine Spikes, so glad that Dawn and Dillon had indeed sent me two. Sharon liked the psychedelic one the best, so of course I let her use it. Sometimes we stayed inside and other times we went outside. She periodically had to rest due to her health (not because of the drinking by the way). Bobby had brought a couple of steaks and some other food.

Bobby doted on Sharon like an old mother hen. Sharon and I were sitting outside enjoying yakkin' about nothin' but everything in general. She was fascinated with what she referred to as "the wine stake". She was so enthralled by it that I didn’t have the heart to correct her on the name. It made it so much easier for her to use a glass and have something to hold it in at arms reach. I forgot to mention - Sharon used a walker and a cane to get around or mine and Bobby’s arm.

Sharon was a fine artist. A hippie chick as some would say. That day she was so very beautiful in her red dress and multi-colored jacket. The Wine Spike "just seemed right" for her. She just loved her "Wine Stake". She thought it was the coolest invention since sliced bread. Truly!

Being an artist Sharon noticed each nuance about it. Ya'll I mean she REALLY loved it. The next afternoon when Sharon and Bobby were leaving she said they'd left me a "wine steak" in the refrigerator. I thought maybe she had put the "Wine Spike" in the fridge. But, no there really was a steak.

Then she said “NO, I left the Wine Stake outside". Sharon told me it was really good and she loved it. I was getting a bit confused as to whether she meant the steak or the stake. She was so danged worried about the Wine Spike being outside that I checked the backyard and 'sho 'nuff, there was the Wine Stake” as she so lovingly referred. Totally unharmed!

I still had the packing box it had been sent to me in so I thought, ”what could it hurt to give a friend a gift that two friends of mine had given me?' You know? Really, so I put the psychedelic Wine Spike in the box and ran out my front door sayin’ hey ..."ya forgot sumpin'". When Sharon opened it up, literally tears welled up in her eyes. She said, “Why are you giving this to me?” The answer was because she loved it so and I loved her. That's what friends do.

Sharon used it every place she went. And I mean every place; next to her chair outside of her house, when she visited a friend, to the graveyard when she took flowers to her Daddy, kept in a potted plant next to her sofa in her house. It didn't matter what she was drinking, milk, tea, water...an occasional glass of wine. She used it. LOVED IT!!!! Really and truly 'twas helpful for her to have it, as I said she had a hard time gettin' around. So did I feel bad about giving a gift away? No, not when it gave her so much pleasure and made it easier to handle any thing she chose to drink. Her ’Wine Stake" now has a new home at Bobby’s house, right outside his back door with a little flower garden he planted for Sharon. When her friends go to Bobby’s, they use the ”Sharon Wine Stake". The other night Bobby left me a message on my phone sayin' he was sittin' outside lookin' at the Moon and drinkin' a beer usin' Sharon’s Wine Stake" He said it made him feel closer to her. I'm not only glad, but proud to have Dawn and Dillon as friends that gave me such treasures... and one in particular that gave another friend so much beauty, so much help, so much happiness in her last months.

So friends, think about the Wine Spikes, if you know someone that has a hard time gettin' around, even in their home a Wine Spike can be very useful. Even for the caregiver. Bobby said by having the Wine Spike for Sharon, he didn’t worry so much about her trying to reach over for a glass and hurting herself. Sharon said she was gonna duct tape it to her walker and or cane. You know what? If she'd wanted to, Bobby would have done it for her. I really do want everyone to consider getting one for some one that has a hard time gettin' around.

Cheers, love Karen

And then Karen was still kinda chatty and had to throw this in . . .

'Tis me again, ya'll are probably wonderin' if I ever hush up, the answer is "yep, I do" As in this instance. A few months ago I was a bit under the weather. Dillon called. And he called. And he called. And he called. And he called. He left a few messages (about 97). To tell me he called. Then he called. And he called. And he called. (Making sure I'd gotten the messages.). This went on for lordy, a couple of weeks. But, he called. And he called and he called. Honestly, I couldn't get out of bed to answer the phone. But the fact that he called. And he called. And he called made me feel good. There is a moral to this story, well actually two. One is: IF YOU ARE EVER SICK. Don’t let Dillon know because he will call. And he will call. And he will call. The other is this: We all need friends like Dillon that we know will call, and call, and call. Good friends like him are few and very far between. When I get rich, I'm gonna by him a hover-craft. I Think that would be less expensive than his long distance bills. Better get off the computer.... no joke..... As I write, the computer is saying “you've got mail". I kid you not, it must be Dillon calling.
Love ya'll, Karen

Yeah, I called and called Karen last month so we could work on our blog, actually I needed her to write the story because I personally think she is a great story teller and not only that, she has a lot of stories, really good stories. When she finally called me back and explained that she had been sick, I understood and quit calling her. She didn’t mention this, but I also was forced to email her daughter to find out if she was ok. She assured me she was; little did I know she was out creating more stories.
Cheers, Dillon

Modern Day Wine Bootlegger

Fri, 14 May 2010 17:22:44 -0800

Have you ever wanted to send your favorite bottle of wine to someone, maybe as a gift, or just to be able to share your favorite wine? Or have you ever visited wineries, gone through some wine tasting trails, enjoyed a bottle or three enough to purchase a case only to find out you have to lug it out of there, you can’t ship it to yourself?

Since we are combining May and June so that we can change the publish date to the 1st of each month, Karen and I decided to do a more informational blog about shipping wine. Beginning on July 1st we will be back to our usual bizarre, humorous wine experiences.

There are so many wine blogs out there now, I can’t believe it. Karen and I have been trying to be very strategic in our choice of wines to blog about. We try to choose between what we like, what’s the best price, how easy is it to get our hands on, how much fun it is to drink, etc etc. We feel it has to be a fun wine to drink, we both agree too, that has actually turned out to be every bottle we have each ever drank, tasted … looked at.

I have found a wine that I absolutely love. Each time I drink it, it actually tastes the same. The problem is I only know of one location locally I can get it. I have found it online, but shipping bites. I want Karen to try this wine so badly that I figured I would have to mail her a bottle because I don’t believe she is going to be able to find it.

Shipping wine, now that is an entire issue all in itself. I found an online company that would ship; however, they don’t ship to every state. Go figure. I even called them and confirmed it and the guy I spoke to double checked because he couldn’t believe it either. Evidently there are several states that certain companies can’t ship to.

I went down to where I usually get the wine and asked them if they would ship it for me. They can’t ship wine period and recommended I ship it myself and call it cooking juice. They instructed me to purchase a special wine mailer from a local box company. If you can’t ship wine, why are there such things as wine mailers? Just curious.

If I ship, will I be considered a modern day bootlegger? That sounds kinda fun actually. I mean, isn’t that how NASCAR began?

I conducted a self search on Google of how to ship wine. According to UPS they are forbidden to ship wine in or out of Massachusetts, among other wine shipping guidelines.

I found a site that did it’s best to give each state’s law on shipping wine. I randomly chose a few states and read about them. There are actually some states where it is a felony to ship wine into that state. Not a felony for the one shipping it, it’s a felony for the one receiving it. Crazy, right! It’s a good wine, but not that good.

I had a good friend ship a bottle of home made Muscadine wine to me from Florida. We saved it for one of our Acoustic Uncorked Adventures, served it brown bag style, I over heard someone chatting about it and remarked to a friend that it tasted like garage wine. Later in the night we announced what it was and where it came from and then we dubbed it “Garage Wine” which we also think would make a great name for a wine company. So if anyone uses that name, send some royalties. When I received it, it was wrapped in a plastic bag, the cork was crazy, and it was encased in a huge blob of wax. Even though it had the cork and waxes to seal it, it still leaked a little or perspired into the plastic bag. By the way, that leakage created the aroma that caused me to almost not be able to save it for the Adventure. If you got a taste that night, consider yourself lucky.

In re-reading that last paragraph I noticed in the first line, “I had a good friend ship a bottle of wine.” If you read it a different way it could read a good friendship over a bottle of wine.” Or something like that. In the end if the states would allow us to ship wine freely to each other I believe there would be a lot more friend ships, which would benefit the wineries, the stores who sell wine, the shipping companies, the delivery folks, and the friendships that will be maintained.

Friends, before you ship wine check out this website for the laws pertaining to the state you are shipping the wine to. If you get the opportunity to voice your opinion to the law makers of your states, vote for the right to bootleg wine in the name of “friend-ships” everywhere.

Cheers, Dillon & Karen

ChocoVine - A Gorgeous Collision of Wine & Chocolate

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 10:22:37 -0800

Hello, I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. Dillon here; Karen is a bit under the weather with pneumonia. We had already decided on a wine, made preparations to drink it over the phone together as usual, so I will take one for the team and drink it alone. I let Karen know that I would manage the wine drinking so she could get some rest and not worry herself about trying to drink anything. That caused us to erupt into laughter and she was able to cough some of that pesky sludge from her chest.

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a good friend’s birthday party. While there I tasted a new wine which opened up a whole new experience in wine drinking for me. I finally found a red that I like.

ChocoVine! It’s a smooth blend of Dutch chocolate and red wine. I was very skeptical when it was mentioned and even refused the taste by saying, “no, there’s no need to open a new bottle.” The new bottle was opened because, no worries, it has a six month refrigerator life after opening. That scared the living heck out of me! Wine with a six month life after opening? What’s in there – formaldehyde? After I tasted this bizarre combination, I knew why they put that disclaimer on the back. This wine won’t last six months in anyone’s fridge. It’s good. Amazingly good!

It’s smooth, somewhat thick, and chocolaty in my mouth, but the finish burns slightly on the back of my tongue. I absolutely love it, without a doubt, no questions … I love it. I love it so much I accidentally “tasted” the entire bottle and ended up trying to write this blog about half drunk. Because, on top of this wine’s great taste it packs a 14% alcohol by volume whollop.

Guys, if you want the perfect evening with your date, serve this wine chilled. Nothing will matter, it’s PMS proof, bad day proof, you don’t know a darned thing about wine proof. Perfect! And, it is reasonably priced as well - $9.99 a bottle. Next time you can’t decide between a box of chocolates and a fine wine as a gift, get ChocoVine, it’s the perfect box of chocolates and fine wine in one nice low priced bottle. You can find it at Khoury’s fine wine and spirits on South Eastern or Durango.

Cheers,
Dillon & Karen's blessings

Chianti is for Lovers . . . errr candles too

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:40:04 -0800

'tis Karen,   gonna jump start here without Dillon, but I believe it will be okay. The reason is because my refrigerator is being a total idiot; yes you heard that right, the refrigerator! I decided to set my own mood for the evening complete with fruit, cheese my own little set up of things. See how it goes.

My brand is BELL'AGIO Chianti. Gosh, the name reminds me of a B Italian western movie. Then on the other hand it sounds rather like an opera. Since I think the vino was a bit over-priced I think I'll go with the opera; sounds good to me. Bottle opened!!! Love the cork, looks branded and painted, but just wondering if the straw around the bottle is real…hmmmmm, that's gonna bug the heck outta me. Wish Dillon was here he'd know. Okay I'll quit being so nit-pickin and get on with the drinkin'.

It’s pretty good, well very good actually. I don't think I've had Chianti since the early seventies; which reminds me of a fond Chianti memory. I had a sorta-kinda boyfriend (you know what I mean, been hanging out together, smooched a little but really don't know where you stand sorta-kinda thing). His name was Steve, was somewhat new in town. He had a bottle of Chianti and we decided to visit some of my hippie friends. We were so young we felt very grown up to have our own bottle. We had to show off a little too, being so "grown up". Anyway, off we went to visit my old hippie friends who were 'bout 30ish, but to us that was old. Oh, the innocence of youth.

The atmosphere was most congenial, music BLARING, tie-dyed this, tie-dyed that, incense and a few other ummm accoutrements. It seemed like back then everyone drank Chianti, honestly, I think it was because the bottles were cool. It does seem to me that the straw was multi-colored, but that could have been the psychedelic lights (I kid you not). Even at that age, I could find the sub-culture in this po-dunk town. I don't mean sub-culture in an ugly way - I love my hippies...only thing wrong is that too many have gone.

Ok, back to the Chianti. We offered to share but this one fellow persistently kept saying "make your own memories". Seems as if everywhere we looked there were wine bottles dripping with candle wax, layers and layers. Didn’t matter what color, seemed the more the better. We had to get going since it was getting late 'bout 10 p.m.   (Golly that's really funny to me now. Generally that's about the time I wake up these days!) We still had a bit of wine, a candle, and a memory to make. A few days later we got together, drank the rest of the bottle, put the candle in the top and watched it burn til late in the evening (that must have been til around 11). By now he was my boyfriend. I think you can read between the wines (pun intended). Oh we made some memories alright!!! We got married, my Daddy politely left the shotgun at home, (actually he forgot it).  We had two really wonderful kids and today we have wonderful grandchildren.

We eventually divorced; maybe it was because we forgot to take the time to drink a little Chianti now and then. I think I really love this vino. While I'm in this wine-glowey mood, I'd like to thank the hippie wherever he may be, for the candle; and a very Happy Birthday this month to my daughter Ash.

Cheers ya'll, love Karen

Dillon here … This month has been busy with other areas of BandVino like Wine Spikes, Acoustic Uncorked questions etc. so I basically put the blog on Karen. I did this with the utmost confidence because Karen doesn’t ever, and I mean ever have a boring story and … well, she is a true connoisseur of wine. She genuinely has a lifetime of wine-drinking experiences and she has a way of making each experience memorable. She has reminded me several times what different labels looked like on wine from the 70’s, 80’s . . . she would describe them to me and by golly I would search on the web and sure enough – there it would be just as she described.

When she told me she wanted to taste and talk about Chianti I have to admit I cringed a little. Ok a lot. My first thought was, it’s red. My second thought was do they make Chianti in a white. Because we picked a red last month and she found that red in a rose'. Could I be so lucky? I’m what you would call a wine sissy. That’s right, I admit it.

So here we are back to a red wine. My tongue and red wines do not get along. I humbly agreed to the Chianti because I knew my wife and I had a cute little stubby, basket coated bottle of Chianti that we have been dragging around for years. All I had to do was open that sucker up and taste it. Well, did I mention my wife loves Chianti? She does, and somewhere in time she popped the top off that bottle of Chianti and drank it right under my nose. I probably didn’t notice because of my mental block towards red wine. I looked for it for an entire day before I finally asked her where it was. She casually replied with, “Ooooh, I drank that a while ago when we had pizza delivered.”   As I suspected, right under my nose.

I purchased a new bottle of Chianti and tasted it. I probably enjoy opening corked bottles more than I do drinking them since we were given an electric cork getter-outer by a friend. It’s like a power drill for wine corks. I learned a while back to let red breathe and I know Karen told me she had let hers vent while she prepared her meal. (vent is good, cracked me up) I actually aerated mine so I wouldn’t have to wait to taste it. I found it a bit dry and flat. I didn’t really taste any grapes due to the burning sensation from the back of my throat reversing up thru the inside of my nose, honestly had the sip been a bit larger I probably could have spewed fire from my nostrils.

I’m trying hard to heighten my wine senses so that I can enjoy all wine with the same gusto that Karen or any other professional wine drinker does, but I do struggle past the initiation of burning out the insides of my virgin nostrils.

Seriously though, I could see where it would have been a better experience had I prepared things like Karen. While chatting on the phone today, she explained to me everything she did preparing for this wine experience. She explained it with such enthusiasm how she had opened her wine, and while it was “venting” she prepared her cheese and fruit plate. I actually feel now I will have to get another bottle of Chianti and “set the mood” if you will. She helped me realize something I’ve always missed about wine. It’s not really always the taste of wine that matters, but the ambience at the time of your experience that connects it together for the best memory you could ever ask for. Excuse me now while I use my “bad experience” Chianti bottle as a candle holder and set the mood for Valentine’s Day with my wife, a new bottle of Chianti, grapes, cheese and new memories.

Dang it! Hey honey…where’s that bottle of Chianti? Ooops she did it again….but I already ate the Cheetos…so I guess we’re even.

Cheers, Dillon

Riunite On Ice . . . That's Nice!

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:34:34 -0800

Hey ya'll, 'tis Karen; and Dillon.

Karen: "You know Dillon, we have talked about white wine every time, let's do a red wine for a change."

Dillon: "Ok Karen, but it's going to be hard to top the Buzzard & Snake Wine experience we had. I like your idea to do a red especially since Valentine's Day is in the air. Let's do Riunite Lambrusco."

Karen: “Oooh yeah, I remember that one. [Spoken with a southern version of a foreign accent], “Riunite on ice, that’s nice!”

Dillon: “If remember correctly, that wine tasted really good. I’m not going to mention any names, but an ex-girlfriend introduced me to Riunite. Back in the 80’s it was the wine for lovers. She was only my girlfriend though, not my lover, I mean . . . we only dated for a short time. Let’s get back to the wine.I think it would be a good idea if we each get a bottle and since we are millions of miles a way from each other have a wine tasting over the phone. What do you think, Karen?”

Karen: “Oooohhhh, yeah good idea. Riunite Lambrusco it is!”

Dillon: Two weeks later……after my nephew returned with the Riunite (he just turned 21 so he had fun buying the wine) Karen and I began to analyze the first bottle. Low and behold Karen got Rosé, not only did she get Rosé, but she got the ginormous bottle of Rosé. Here I am with a little bottle that has already been tasted by my nephew.

Karen: “Blame it on me . . . uh huh.” I think Dillon was just ticked that he did not have more to drink. Geeeez, being out of wine has ever upset me and if ya believe that one then I have some waterfront property to sell.

Dillon: “I’m just saying, Rosé in mega bottle? Isn’t that like drinking white with a little, very little drop of red food coloring in it?”

Karen: “I did good to find this bottle, the stores were crowded preparing for bad weather and all I went in for was a bottle of wine. Let’s go, I’m thirsty.”

Dillon:” Pour some in your glass.”

Karen: “Did that.”

Dillon: “Now smell it. Mine smells like raspberries or fruity. What does yours smell like?”

Karen:” Strawberry.”

Dillon: “Yeah yours would smell like strawberry being it’s a ROSÉ. Ok, now hold the stem and swirl your glass around.”

Karen: “Ummm Dillon, I’m afraid if I do that it will slosh out. I may have poured just a little too much in my glass.”

Dillon: “Ok, well I can’t show you the legs of the wine if you don’t swirl.”

Karen: “What are the legs?”

Dillon: “I’m not sure, I’ll look it up. Ok, never mind about the legs. Let’s just drink it and let our taste buds speak for us.”

Karen: “Oh, thank God.” Ya’ll, the phone Lambrusco thingy-ma-jing went a little more like me saying it smelled like strawberry. Dillon tried to teach me to “sniff, twirl, whirl” etc. ‘cept I have a few problems. Such as one, I don’t follow directions right or write. Right or write, ya know? Anyway, I tried to do my best. I smelled it, tasted it, well, first of all got all MY STUFF SET UP. My cigarettes, WINE SPIKE (I had that sitting in a house plant next to my un-gliding rocker; the chair, not a person.) Dillon asked me if I had the vino over ice and I said “no, ‘tis room temp. Now on hind-sight room temp here was in the low 20’s, so in actuality ‘twas a very chilled wine. Think about it, ‘twould be!!!!!

Dillon: Mine wasn’t on ice either; so much for, “Riunite on ice, that’s nice.”

Karen: So anyway, I did all the fancy whirlin’, twirlin so on and so forth. I even held back so long before I took one sip out of that glass that the bottle looked very lonely sitten’ there by itself (I even felt sad for that BIG BOTTLE). I was a good friend to Dillon though, so I sat patiently. I did not know Dillon had already been drankin’.

Dillon: “Karen, I thought you were keeping up with me on the “wine tasting adventure”. Are you sure you weren’t sipping out of the bottle while twirlin’?”

Karen: “I loved the Rosé.”What I enjoyed the most truly was the glass of wine via phone with Dillon, ‘cept in my case ‘twas not a glass. I had the sense to go ahead and get ‘de big bottle . . . better safe than sorry. That way ya don’t have an ornery friend fussin’ ‘cuz they ain’t got no wine left. I really loved the wine, but not half as much as me gettin’ more wine. I still wonder why it said White Lambrusco when it was between the color of methiolate and rust. I won’t worry my old head with some such non-sense as a label; I had a pretty good glass of wine with an even better friend. I enjoyed ever-dang minute. Wish ya’ll well. Love, Karen . . . cheers.

Dillon: I enjoyed the red version; it was deep red with light sweetness crossed with a very hint of dryness and some bubbles. I would highly recommend this to couples who don’t usually drink wine, but want something romantic.

Dawn: I walked in from work, didn’t know what was going on, grabbed Dillon’s glass and took a big old swig. Yikes. Not so good if you’re not prepared for what you’re drinking. I mean, after a glass or so, I think it would be lovely and legs? What legs? There weren’t any legs to be seen. Swirl a glass of Riunite and it settles back down like bottled water with food coloring. But it was interesting and probably tastes great with a bag of Cheetos. (Dillon: "This is what I'm serving Dawn for Valentine's Day)."

Back of Dillon’s Riunite Lambrusco Bottle: Lambrusco grapes date back to ancient Rome. Today, our family of grape growers and master winemakers craft a Lambrusco rich in fruit and soft in flavor. Enjoy with grilled meats, pasta with red sauces or with spicy Southwest, Mexican and Asian dishes. Serve at refrigerated temperature. To retain freshness and aroma, reseal tightly after opening and refrigerate.

Back of Karen’s Riunite Rose’ Bottle:Enjoy with light dishes, pasta with cream sauce or grilled chicken Caesar.

Karen: Retain freshness? I drink every drop then I never have to worry 'bout little things such as that. Matter of fact 'til Dillon brought that up I thought you did that with everything; freshness my fanny. To refresh, go buy another bottle...oh yeah!!

Christmas Tree Chablis

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:54:21 -0800

Karen: Holiday Greetings to All! This really is a true story. Unfortunately, Dillon will have to tell you more how the wine tasted because after this particular adventure – well, quite frankly I got plastered due to the trauma. I'll let this little "ditty" I wrote be an intro as to why I was forced to over-imbibe on that fateful day:

Over the river and through the woods With Dillon and Chablis in tow
To find a great pine
As we drink our wine My face began to glow
I was quite perplexed By what I saw next
As I looked up toward space
My mind just can’t shake
Wine dripped from my face
when A buzzard dropped a snake!!!

Dillon: As I remember things, it was a brisk winter day with fluffy full clouds in mid December back in 1985ish. I thought to myself, surely any minute the skies would unload some white puffy Christmas spirit as I headed to Karen’s to try a new wine.

Karen: My dear readers, that is not exactly the way things went. Oh, but it was a bleak, gray December day with drizzling rain; just as cold as a miners butt. It was a perfect day to stay home and open a big cheap bottle (picture a Moonshine jug) of Chablis Blanc and read a book in front of a crackling fire. Out of the blue, Dillon popped by with a really great idea. "Hey Karen, let's go get a Christmas tree.”

Dillon: As I was saying, I kicked back with a giant glass of wine so startling I had to pour it down my tongue directly into my throat. No swirling and sniffing for this wine. I still believe there was some residual Moonshine in that old jug. Anyways, with Christmas Day fast approaching our conversation drifted to how prepared my apartment was (or wasn’t) for my first solo adult Christmas. Karen was ahead of me as far as the wine went, because her next proposal surely was influenced by her spirit consumption. With chagrin, I confessed I had no tree adorning my first apartment. Karen would have none of that lack of holiday spirit and insisted we go right that minute to get a Christmas tree.

Karen: Actually, Dillon came by to encourage me to drop what I was doing and join him to get his first Christmas tree. I thought he meant buy a tree, and I said to myself, that shouldn't take too long so I decided to go 'cause I liked riding in his old VW bug. Being such a crummy day outside I didn't think it would harm anything to tote along my jug of Chablis Blanc.

Dillon: We grabbed a sippy-cup and her jug of wine and off we went. My vehicle at the time was an old VW bug. So old that I’m the only person alive that could actually drive it, but the radio worked fine so she was a good enough ride for me. The biggest issue was the brakes – as they only worked a little. To accommodate, I timed my stops carefully, and creatively utilized 3rd gear, 2nd gear, and eventually 1st gear, and with a few prayers eventually downshifted my way to a stop. In a close second to the missing brakes were the holes in the floor board blowing more cold air than the vents could blow hot. I always kept blankets in the Bug and once positioned correctly over the heater vents one could stay somewhat warm.

Karen:When I got into the VW I noticed some serrated knives lying on the floor board, and I thought nothing of it, I mean its Dillon after all and we're just going to the store or a parking lot some place to buy a Christmas tree. Now since it was so very wet and cold that day I had slipped on a pair of shoes before I left the warmth of my home. Something practical but also holiday-like. Danged if I wasn’t certain those five inch red spikes would cheer up the gloom. The Chablis Blanc was beginning to take effect and I was feeling very Christmasy. And off we went…and went..and went. "Dillon" I said "just where are you gonna buy this tree"? "Oh” he says, “I'm not buying it, we're gonna cut one down." Now don't get me wrong, I’m all for that kind of thing; right up my alley, but it's just too darn cold, I'm wearing high heels and I just was not dressed for the weather. And that darned old VW had no heat to speak of. Yet still, I decided to go with the flow and I had that big jug of wine - what could go wrong? We drove clear across the county - literally over the river and through the woods. We headed north of the river up Highway 171 – a great long winding road. Up and down, curves and loops, miles and miles and miles. We're having fun now! Really nice getting out of town...tons of trees to choose from and they're FREE! Wonderful!!

Dillon: Where we lived you don’t purchase trees; you traipse through the woods for them. Since we lived in town, we had to drive to the woods. I had to refrain from drinking wine at this time so I was stone cold sober, no pun intended. Off we drove across town piled in my VW Bug. We went up Hwy 171 just like Karen said; I was destined to get us deep into the woods heading straight into free-Christmas-tree country. As we drove this winding road, Karen was sipping Chablis happily from her sippy-cup and through chattering teeth we sang Christmas carols.

Karen: Six knives my tundra-frozen behind! There is no way we could chop down a tree with a knife and besides, I was holding the wine and wearing high heels. When we stopped to tromp through the woods, I realized, 5 inch spikes are really useful while trekking thru mud, muck, and mire. I just poked those babies down in that wet ground like Wine Spikes. I didn’t even slide. Yep, they really did make a fine feminine hiking heel. We finally decided on a tree and to my horror I realized Dillon was serious about those knives! It took all six of them to saw that darned tree down. I wanted to help, really I did, but I was busy toting the wine. The tree was fabulous so it was worth Dillon’s effort.

Dillon: Yes, it took me a while with serrated knives to cut that tree down, but it gave me the opportunity to take many breaks in order to do a little wine tasting from Karen’s sippy cup. We, errrr I dragged the tree, while Karen “toted” the wine to the waiting VW. As I pondered the tree and the front-end trunk I once again found Karen’s sippy-cup in my hands. We stood there looking at the VW Bug with this pine tree lying next to it and I had a moment of utter and complete terror. Obviously no prior thought went in to how we would transport this tree. After a few more sips of wine, ideas of how it would fit popped into my mind. I convinced Karen the trunk was the best place for the tree and I assured her I would be able to see and navigate just fine. We measured the tree length with the width of the road, (actually we didn’t think of that until we got into town and other drivers started swerving off the road to avoid us). The tree fit nicely with either end extending out from either side of the bug.

Karen: There was one question on my mind: would Dillon be able to see to drive? He wasn't drinking, (well except for those few times he borrowed my glass), but as I said the trunk is in the front. The trunk lid was up, the Christmas tree was in it and sticking out from side to side and it sure seemed larger than when it was in the woods. Suddenly, it just seemed so dog-gone out of proportion. Dillon assured me he could drive "just fine". He promised the tree wasn't blocking his vision "too much.” I trusted him - shoot, I wasn’t in the drivers-seat and I am considerably shorter than Dillon so he must be right. So off we went.

Dillon: We headed back to town with our prize tree hanging out in the front of the bug, perfectly positioned so we could keep an eye on it. I didn’t want to scare Karen too much, but visibility was harsh, the VW windshields aren’t that big to begin with, and then add cold outside and breathing inside fogging up the windows. Needless to say there was a very small window of vision over the trunk, through the tree and fog.

Karen: Dillon was talking about tree decorations and Christmas stuff and I was looking out the side window into the sky 'cause I couldn't see out the front for all that tree in the trunk. But all was so very pleasant - I felt like singing Christmas carols again. I was actually feeling glad my buddy stopped by and had trundled me off to the woods. The Chablis was warming me up too. This had turned into a really great day - I was lovin' it - just lovin' it. Suddenly, something in the sky caught my attention. Then out of nowhere IT happened. Like a scene from a horror movie a Buzzard - a big, giant Buzzard - the Mother of all Buzzards, swooped down from I-don't-know-where, paused momentarily, and swooped back up into the sky with a Snake hanging from its claw feet. The snake was alive – just a-flapping from side to side. I knew I was gonna die - just knew it. Everything started moving in slow motion. Then as quick as it began, the Buzzard dropped the snake from its mouth. To top it off, that blasted snake was in the road and I was absolutely positive the dang thing would slither in the tree, through the holes in the trunk and into the VW. Dillon assured me everything was okay, but I said to heck with sippy-cups – I started drinking straight from the jug!

Dillon: Just when all was going smoothly, suddenly, out of the blue Karen dramatically yells, “Dillon, stop! Stop, stop, stop! Look up there!” I’m trying to get us stopped trying to see out of fogged up windows – and low and behold there was this huge bird heading straight for us with an object dangling from it’s claws and what appeared to be fighting. As it got closer we realized it had to be a buzzard, and even closer we could make out that it had a snake in its grasp and it looked like the snake did not want to be there. We got the car stopped in time to jump out and as we did the buzzard dropped the snake right in front of the Bug, (oh, the irony).

Karen: When that blasted snake fell from the sky I forgot just about everything but as soon as I returned to breathing I realized my lungs were seizing up from the cold. Everything was happening in slow motion.

Dillon: The buzzard perched on a tree and watched as we gathered around the snake, with some trepidation I might add, to check it out and see if it was alive. Somehow I ended up with Karen’s wine sippy-cup and I have to tell you at that time, Chablis Blanc tasted quite good. The snake was not moving, so we guessed it was either playing possum or dead and neither of us wanted to get close enough to truly find out. We realized we were keeping the buzzard away from dinner so we jumped back in the Bug and began our Christmas tree journey again. Karen took her sippy-cup back and off we went. For a brief moment though we forgot how cold we were.

Karen: I don't remember the drive home or much else for that matter. After the Buzzard dropped the Snake and the bottle of Chablis became just an empty bottle, the day became a blurred mishmash of giant tree, cars veering off the road, horns blaring, wild laughter, and the spins.

Dillon: And so we began our journey to my apartment, back over the winding road and hilly terrain of the desolate back roads - finally reaching town and traffic. We made it to my apartment with a lot of gawking from others and a few horn honkers. It was a beautiful tree we decorated. And as we admired our beautiful tree, Karen and I raised our (new) jug and sippy cup. We toasted the tree, the buzzard, and the snake…and of course, the Chablis Blanc.

Dillon and Karen: Cheers and happy and safe holidays to all!